Clouds....

The wind takes them across vast lands....

Humans....

Their conduct and choices dictate what they face....

Self....

God continues to to guide and teach through trials

As of lately, thoughts of the word 'expectation' has been circulating in my mind. All of us have expectations about everything. We expect other drivers on the road to drive without running into us. We expect ourselves to get hungry in the morning, around noon, and around nightfall. We even expect friends to behave or respond in a specific way. So are expectations good to have or are they a hindrance?

Yes and no.

Expectations are good to have of differently people when it comes to getting tasks done. You would not want to put someone in charge of a task for which they are not trained in or knowledgeable about. It is the complete opposite in that you want to put someone in charge of an assignment for which they are capable and competent in completing. This is great for employees and volunteers but when it comes to friends you can't place expectations on them.

I have found my self in a number of situations in which I have placed expectations on people without vocalizing them. In my case, this leads me to being upset and frustrated or just plain confused in regards to the actual reality of the situation. Not good. However, I should clarify even further that I am referring to when we hold expectations with our human (selfish) desires at the forefront. Selfishly, we want things to happen and work themselves out but only if it happens according to our wishes. I must pray against this and watch myself as I have found it is very easy for me to slip in this area and hold selfish expectations of close friends.

It needs to be made clear that it is not sin that humbles but grace. It is the soul occupied with God in His wonderful glory as Creator and Redeemer that will truly take the lowest place before Him.

--Andrew Murray

For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven,
And do not return there without watering the earth
And making it bear and sprout,
And furnishing seed to the sower and bread to the eater;
So will My word be which goes forth from My mouth;
It will not return to Me empty,
Without accomplishing what I desire,
And without succeeding in the matter for which I sent it.

--God

Isaiah 55:10-11

The bible is not merely words on a piece of paper or parchament but rather it is to be revered as the spoken word of God who manifested His words by means of specifically picked authors at specific points in time. God's spoken word in the bible is as powerful today as it was when He first spoke it.

What happens when all of a person's dreams for the future and their confidence becomes shattered? What happens when man's plans begin to deteriorate and fall apart? What is left? Our human desires give way to the desire of the Holy Spirit in our lives. God shows us where are weaknesses and fault lines lie, not to guilt us and show us how bad or off the mark we are, but as a means to bring us back to Him and His perfect plan. For me, this past week I have seen my plans for the spring and summer change outside of my control and efforts. My confidence in my own strength and plans has been shattered. However, I am not destroyed. I have been crumbled in many ways but I am not hopeless. My confidence in my own abilities is shaken but not in God's sovereignty. God has a plan that includes me. God will build into His servant all that is necessary to complete His plan. I will not be lacking in anything that God calls me to. My hope is in Him as I am human and I will fail. How good it is to be able to place my life in God's care as I am confident that He knows best. The cracks and decay in my life will be repaired, not by my efforts, but by Christ in regards to what He is calling me to. I may not have made it into Arizona State University's nursing program for this coming spring, but maybe come fall, it will turn into reality.

As of lately (this weekend especially), I went from feeling so sure of myself and pretty sure of what I was going to be doing this coming semester to not knowing what these next few years will hold and what I had hoped to take place dashed against the rocks of reality. The more I try to make sense of it all, the more I realize that at this point in time I will never fully know the implications of my denial into the upper division nursing program at ASU. To be quite frank, it feels as though the light of present knowledge is being encroached upon by the shadows of an uncertain future.

Stripped of something that I considered valuable, I'm at a loss for what to do. I perceive my self to be lost without some semblence of direction. However, I am sure that from God's perspective I am right where He wants me to be. I may not know where that is at the moment but I have to trust Him. There is no other option.

Jeremiah 29:11 - For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.