Brothers together in Christ

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2 weeks from today I will be officially done with my first semester of upper division nursing at Arizona State University.  This means that I will only have 3 more semesters to complete to graduate.  However, this has not come without a cost.  While time has always been at a premium for me, it has never been valued as much as it has been this semester.  The pattern is to fight for time, whether that is by making downtime more effective/efficient or by eliminating extraneous events from my life to the point that life is more manageable.  Certainly there are things that I wish could have been different but of what use is it now to hope on what has already been....a waste of time.  However, it was hard to justify spending time on things outside of classes, work, and most importantly the dynamic relationship I have with God.

With that said, I am sorry that I have not written at all on this blog but I hope to change that for future semester.  Speaking of the future, there are a few things that I'm excited for beyond the brick and mortar walls of the university...

1.  Urbana 2009
Being only 1.5 years out from graduation, the only thing I know of for sure is that I don't want to simply remain on U.S. soil for the rest of my life.  The purpose of attending this conference is to explore further my passion for wanting to provide something to those less fortunate all due to their location on this blue/brown sphere.  ...also, it wouldn't be such a bad thing for me to get out of town and refocus life.  I'm hoping that I'll be able to steal a close friend away from his wife so us guys can talk one-on-one.

2.  Mercy Ships
Stemming from #1, I have been intrigued by this organization and at this point I would love to pursue working with them in the near future at some point.  Currently the ship is docked off the coast of Benin.  What they do is provide medical treatments as well as health education to the poorest of the poor where ever they go in the world.  I hope that after gaining experience for a few years in a hospital it will work out to join with Mercy Ships for a year.  Much of my interest has been sparked by Ali's blog (a nurse on the Africa Mercy).

3.  VI - Monday Night Living Room
God has been moving in the members of this group and has been challenging different people to grow in different ways.  I'm excited to be a part of it and I eagerly look forward to continuing with this group into the next semester.  What is difficult for me, and bothers me, is that it is extremely hard with my schedule to invest time into all the guys I want to spend time with and challenge.  Any time I get with the guys in the group I just savor (more so than the coffee of the coffee shop we are in). 

A few days since the airplane landed at Sky Harbor and most of the effects of jet lag have worn off. However, the memories garnered have not been so easily wiped away. The same could be said for the memories from summer '06 and summer '08 too. What we experience in person leaves a lasting impression upon us that goes deeper than superficial to affect the core of who we are. In such a way, who I am has been changed by what I have gone through in these outreaches to the Czech Republic and Poland.

In coming back from this summer, I could not shake the feeling that the time spent this summer in the Czech Republic, Slovakia, and Poland would be the last time for many years. In many ways, the past 3 weeks were more like an extended goodbye than anything else.

Goodbye Poland Team. All of us will part ways at some point.

Goodbye Poland. I only knew you for 8 amazing days.

Goodbye Slovakia. You were a great end to 2008.

Goodbye České Budějovice. You were the town that started it all in 2006.

Goodbye Strakonice. You were my home away from home in 2008.

Goodbye Czech Republic. You will always be in my heart.

I have met many people over the years in many towns across the Czech Republic, Slovakia, and Poland who have been an integral part of the changes that occurred in myself. Of those people who have affected me, I hope to remain in close contact with some of them in the coming years....even if I am unable to visit in person. For those who call their home the Czech Republic, Slovakia, or Poland, you will always have a friend in Arizona. Stay in touch my dear friends!

Goodbye....for now

http://poland09.posterous.com/

The Poland team has made it safely to the H2O project work site and have settled in. The only small thing to worry about is a ton of mosquitoes and as well as a lot of spiders. In fact, I have a spider that makes a web across the door frame of my cabin each night so I need to remember to duck upon leaving or entering. In a few short hours the work will begin and our tasks will be defined. I will put up another post tonight or tomorrow describing our work better (need to wait to actually experience it before I write about it). Also, we are working alongside two teams, one from Belfast, Ireland and the other a team of Polish youth from a nearby city. This week is going to be good. We have a lot of work to get done, but I know this team is up for the challenge.

It is the 31st of July and I am back in Prague. Yesterday was so bittersweet. Today is even worse as I have time to think about yesterday. Spending time in Strakonice and České Budějovice was so good. I look to the horizon in hopes of seeing my self back here but all that is ahead is haze and what dim shapes of the landscape that pokes through does not seem familiar.

While I was here though I tried to make the most of it. From cooking a true Mexican style dish to going to concerts (punk rock at one, folk music at another), I would say the time I spent with friends from past English camps was well spent. Even went to Obi once (Czech version of Home Depot, orange color included) to get some last minute supplies for the work I'll be doing in Poland in the coming days. Also spent a couple of hours one night at a tea house which had seating on the rook akin to a Japanese garden (or at least that was what I think they were going for). The sweetest times however, came from the small hang outs at cafes or the long walks back to the flat. If only it were easy to hold on to such moments and make them last.

I hope to return sometime in the future and I'm sure I will, but the question is "When?"....

I have seem some of what good this visit to Strakonice has brought but if there is more, then I suspect that I will never know to what extent it has meant to the few people I have interacted with. If anything, I would hope that my time in the Czech Republic this summer is more valuable to others than it is for me. At this moment I have a few slim hours to rest and relax, alone with my thoughts....which is something I have been craving, not feeling as though I have to be doing something with someone. It is moments like these that I treasure.


In a few short hours I will take a train to Ceske Budejovice (from Pisek) and spend time with a few more friends from two different summers. This I will treasure too, just in a different way. I feel as though my time in the Czech Republic is coming to a close, not in reference to this week, but in reference to the coming years. So the time I spend with those students from camp who I have grown close to means a lot to me.

So I just found out a few days ago that the poland team had a blog. The web address is http://poland09.posterous.com. Keep tabs on that site in addition to here!

Its interesting. Walking...actually more so flying home last summer, I was expecting to be unable to come back to the Czech Republic this summer. Yet here I am. This time around I am not doing an English camp or an internship with Josiah Venture in CZ, but rather a work project in Poland starting a week and a half from now. However, that does not define what I am currently doing in CZ. Much of the time I have been asking myself why I am here. The surface answer is that I wanted to hang out with people I know here from camps and visit. Maybe encourage them in someway. The deeper answer is still unknown. What does God want me here for? I am sure there must be some reason. Deep in side, I feel a part of myself saying that this will be the last time for a long time.

I do not know what to make of that...

....only God in His timing will tell.

For His invisible attributes, namely, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse.

I feel at times that I am merely a foreigner in my home country. I dare to be different and thus am viewed as such. Being a college student actively seeking God and serving Him, I find that I do not have the time to watch TV or play video games for hours on end. It is possible that I could rearrange other priorities in my life to make room for the aforementioned entertainment but of what value would such an effort be to me? Christians need to move beyond the shallowness of the mire of entertainment and dive into deep and close relationships with those around us. Don't become complacent with the American dream of less work and more pay but instead go for the opposite. Work harder at your interactions with people, invest time into them. Do not take your relationships for granted. I know that in large, this is a "me" centered society in which we are conditioned through media, peers, and even our own flesh to seek after the things that bring the most benefit back ourselves while minimizing what those around us get. The intent of the flesh throughout the span of the creation has remained constant since the fall of humanity. Only by God's grace are we able to be freed from sin's bondage.

Let us make the most of the time that God has given us rather than wasting it on empty pursuits. We will never again live this day over.

This coming summer holds within its grasp many things to be treasured and remembered. On July 20 I will be leaving again for the Czech Republic, but this time I will also be going to Poland to work on the H2O project with a team from Grace Community Church. I am excited for this and look forward to the time I will get to spend with new college freshmen during that week of renovation work! Looking forward to next fall I am seeking to be more involved in the college group at church and may focus on the incoming freshmen for the next year!

However my heart still yearns to know about the unknowns of the next 2 years and the subsequent year following graduation. I really want to know the unknown but I must be content in God, which is one of the hardest things for me as I like to know what is going on around me. I need to have faith in God with where He is leading me as I know that He has a plan for my life. I need to trust Him in all that He does in my life.

.....this is so hard and I alone cannot not accomplish such a feat under my own power. God, you are my strength and my breath!

One thing that has been on my mind these past few months is that of the subject of suffering. This is not random by any means as these past few months have been quite difficult for me (in my eyes). I plan to make a post about what God has been teaching me but until I do that, I wanted to place a link to a sermon given by Mark Driscoll on suffering and how we are to live our lives during the midst of it. Enjoy!
Suffering to Serve

These past 4 weeks have found me in a state that no one ever wishes to be in: completely broken. Life is supposed to be filled with happiness and fun all while living in bold confidence of the path ahead of one's self, not with realizations that we are insignificant and that we live in total dependence upon God. I think not. I would argue that brokenness is needed, not just every now and then when we have done something wrong or feel guilty or convicted of something, but always. We need to be living with that realization in mind.

But like I was saying, we don't naturally like to be found in such a state, especially by those who know us well because we have an "image" to uphold. I am so guilty of this. So many times I have sought to keep my reputation intact by not being completely honest with those that are close to me and that has been a hindrance to my faith during my years in high school and carried over a bit into my college years. Over the course of my first few years of college, I began to open up to key people in my life, whose friendship I still cherish to this day. However, it was not until this past summer and up until now that I really began to get a grasp of this area of my faith in Christ. Still, I'm not perfect (I will never proclaim to be) and I am continuing to strive to grow in this area of openness. I have much to learn!

What I can say though is the freeing nature that exists in being transparent with your life is something to seek. As a body of believers, the church needs to come around its brothers and sisters in love to speak truth in to their lives yet filled with grace. All of us struggle with something, so we all need to be seeking out community in which support for it members is a integral part of life, not that people may continue in their sin, but that they may seek repentance and freedom from it. For what do we have to hide? We are all human and we all fail. Praise God for who He is; perfect, righteous, and holy!

For more thought, here's a blog post that speaks of brokenness in relation to leaders and provoked my thought on this subject tonight.

"Godly character is grown in dependency crises. You are forced to deal with God and with yourself. Great leaders don't just visit these places of dependence; they try to live there."

-Darrin Patrick

If one were to stand back and just observe someone (people watching, not stalking), it would become quite noticeable how multifaceted human beings really are. For each person, there are unique combinations of personality traits, characteristics, preferences, and dislikes that go into defining who someone is. Sure people are similar, but no one is exactly identical in how they process interactions and thoughts, which goes towards each person's uniqueness. Likewise, each person responds in their own way to different stimuli, whether that be something as simple as a touch or something as complex as a deep discussion over deep-seated feelings in combination with a dimly lit, romantic atmosphere. Looking at any relationship (friends, family, marital), knowing what gets through to the other person to show that you care about the relationship is key and vital to the health of the relationship.

Therefore, if I were to ask "What is it that your friends, family, or spouse enjoy? What can you do to uplift them?", would you know how to respond? How well do we really know those who we are close to? More often than not, we think about what we can do to make life better for ourselves rather than what we could be doing to make life better for someone else. I myself am not exempt from this. I believe that as a community of believers, Christ followers need to be exemplifying this in their lives towards people they know and those they do not know. In terms of personal relationships, one idea I have heard about is taking notes on what friends enjoy. Then through those notes one will know how to uplift their friend no matter what the circumstances may be. If is someone you don't know well, then small gestures of kindness can go a long way. I am not saying these things to only better your relationship with specific people, but to encourage you to live like Christ with your focus being placed on those around you rather than on yourself and your needs or wants. Seek to benefit other before yourself.

So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets. - Matthew 7:12

I highly encourage any man to watch the video below. Mark Driscoll strongly articulates what it means to be a man of God in marriage. However, this video is also directed to men who have aspirations of joining a woman in marriage someday and pursuing God's call together in union. So go right ahead and hit 'play'.

The past few weeks have proved to be especially difficult. Its not so much a matter of what I busy my self with but more so the anxieties that have been plaguing me. I found it easy to say to my self "Don't focus on it" but really that did nothing to curb the welling fear of the uncertainty in the road ahead of me in terms of education and life. However, I kept trying my hardest to break from the depressing nature of such thoughts, but continually came to find that my own efforts, large or small, were to no avail. That is my weakness, I try to do everything with my own power rather than depending and waiting on God. Some may say that it is alright to worry about this thing or that but in thinking about it, I cannot get past the selfish nature of such thinking. Here I am thinking that my problems and uncertainties are the most important things in the world and that everything else can take its place behind them. How wrong I am!

These past few days God has done a lot to make me realize where my perspective should be. My perspective should not be focused on myself, but on God (Colossians 3:1) and those around me (Philippians 2: 3-4). What I mean by this is more than just taking them into consideration, but to manifest the love of Christ towards them over yourself in your actions. This could mean spending time with friends and really getting to know about what has been happening in their lives and how you could be praying for them. Gaining such a perspective of where I consider myself and my problems of the least significance to those of another person has been so freeing for me. This is exactly how Christ lived His life on earth. Christ made it a point to seek the interests of others by humbling Himself below that of His creation so that God's grace towards His creation would be made complete through the sacrificial death of Christ and His subsequent resurrection! (Philippians 2:5-8) God calls me to be obedient to Him in that I need to regard others as more important than my own worries or issues, not begrudgingly, but rather in a manner marked by obeisance. So while the future is still uncertain, I am excited for where God is leading me and even more excited for how He will use me to reach out to those in need!

My heart feels heavy as the realizations of what a few forthcoming acceptance letters could mean for my life for the next 2 years. But I have to ask my self what matters most if it comes down to deciding between schools. Sure I could go for the easy options and choose the least expensive or the most accessible, but is that where my heart lies? Do I desire the materialistic gratifications of the academically better schools, if those should be options, or is there something more that I desire at the smaller schools that would have a larger impact for Christ? I do not know how to reconcile these past 8 months. I am seeing my connections with friends and acquaintances slowly being severed. Also, I have never before felt so disconnected with Arizona State University or with the college group at my home church. In regards to how I serve student ministries at church, I have been feeling that it is time to move on.

Often times the obvious path, according to society's standards, is not the path to be taken. At this point I feel a strong sense to move on and take a new path for which the end is blocked from sight. Usually people like to know where they are going, it gives them a sense of security. However, at this point I feel so stifled by other people's expectations of me that I will gladly take another path, not to prove them wrong but to figure out what the desires of my heart are in pursuit of seeking to serve God with my life.

You will seek Me (God) and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. -Jeremiah 29:13

Where will I go from this point? I'm not sure but within at least 1 week, if not 3 weeks, God will tell me where I will be for the next 2 years.

For what reason is God stirring my heart and leading me to do things that I could not have imagined a few short months ago?

In the movie The Hiding Place, the ten Boom family hid Jews in Holland during WWII. When their actions were questioned by people in regards to why they were doing this, one of the daughters responded by saying, "The need is great. We must do what we can!"

How often is it that we ourselves resort to "hiding" when troubling times come even though we might not be the ones needing to be cared for? Too often. It is human nature to resort to self-preservation. However, this goes beyond something science tries to define as a natural instinct. Let's just face it, we are prideful and want others to fall (guilty or innocent) before we ourselves fall. I am not excluding myself from this group either.

Many times I find myself hiding my true thoughts about situations as a means to keep people happy or pleasant with me. After realizing I have done so I just want to kick myself for not being bold or courageous to actually speak up. This is a weakness that I have taken to praying about, that God might use me in some way and to seek Him out for the boldness to do so because I know that I don't have it. I want to see God work through me in such a way that I cannot rely on my own strength.

So are you hiding or are you "hiding" others?

The other night I found my self thinking about the word 'dating' and how society defines that word. For me, dating is not some magical threshold that once crossed opens the door to new ways of showing love. Instead, the whole process of forming a relationship with someone of the opposite gender is just that, a process. In thinking about the words used to define where we are in that relationship process, I have come to realize that people often misconstrue those words to mean something physical.

Take 'dating' for example. That word should define the portion of the timeframe of the relationship in which both persons have first become open and honest about how they think of the other person and where they want to head with this relationship with the understanding that this period of time is for getting to know the other person better and to the point of being able to decide if marriage is the right course of action or if ending the relationship is what needs to happen. Continuing with another example, the word 'marriage' should mean that two people have committed to loving one another through both the smooth and the rough times of life and is meant to be a lifelong commitment.

However, upcoming generations do not view 'dating' or 'marriage' as specific timeframes of a relationship but rather as physical descriptions of the status held by two individuals in relation to one another. This can be seen in the expressions that society uses to convey the physical relationship between two people with examples being as follows: 'seeing each other', 'going out', 'hooking up', 'tie the knot', etc. What has been lost is the deeper meanings behind dating and marriage. All that is left in society is the shallow meanings of the physical side which interestingly correlate to self-gratification rather than love for the other person.

The glory of God is man fully alive

- Saint Irenaeus

There are times when in the course of life I hope for the unexpected to happen, and sometimes it happens but most often it does not. But then there are times where I am not even hoping for the unexpected and I get a great surprise I could not have imagined. Just like the snow-covered mountains in this photo taken two years ago, could I be on the verge of yet another great surprise?

I hope so...

At Arizona State University (ASU) this semester, I am taking a course entitled Religion, Magick, and Science (REL 382). Its an interesting course in that the professor's focus is on the history behind how religion, magick, and science have been connected throughout the ages. There has been two ideas that he seems to keep touching back on and have come to intrigue me and on which I have and continue to dwell upon.

The first idea being people who become defensive and start snapping at another person when their faith is being questioned, even if it is only a discussion and not an attack. The professor would say that this happens because people are insecure in regards to their faith. Alright, I can agree with that. When a person is questioned in regards to what they believe to be true, I would expect them to hold strong to that belief, even if they cannot adequately explain why they believe what they believe. I would like to think that I would be able to handle questions that I cannot answer about my beliefs and still hold on to my faith without succumbing to defensive fighting. Faith is a crucial aspect as God did not call us to understand Him as much was we possibly can because that is impossible. What God called us to was to love Him and love others as much as you would love yourself. Love should be our prime focus through which God will teach us out of our desire to know Him more what we need to know in order to serve Him better!

The second idea that the professor brought up was about people, Christ-followers specifically, who avoid certain items (by touch, sight, or hearing) because such items have an association with a belief that is not biblically based. To me this seems ridiculous. If I were to look at figurines, statues, or drawings associated with another person's belief system, I would not be overcome by it to the point of withdrawing from it. Such items have no power over me or nature. They are powerless. Thus, I have no need to fear such things because I know God. I will even say that the Bible has no power as it is an inatimate object. There is only one Being that needs to be feared and that is God, not Satan.

At this precise moment in time, in the span of the ages, I desperately want to be certain that the economy will not affect my education and that I will graduate in 2.5 years. I want to be as certain of this just as I am of water falling due to gravity. However, I cannot be assured of anything. The economy is beyond my control. As more and more businesses fail and people get laid off and the education system gets slammed, I realize more and more the implications of trusting in God. My only escape can be found in God, not anything that I can do. Sure I can try my best to give myself options for the future but if that is done outside of seeking God then they are worthless. To be quite open, that is something that I have been learning about over this past year. I will say that I am not the best in seeking God out first explicitly when facing challenging situations and I have been seeking God out to change that in my life. For real change to take place in a person's life, that person needs to be seeking God out daily, both in the Bible and in prayer. Going to church once a week does not cut it! Daily we are prone to sin, thus daily we need to go to God with that in mind and with our shortcomings before us. Pray against your weaknesses, not only once a day but at any time from when you are at peace to when the temptations come. My weakness lately has been uncertainty in the future, especially my education. However, I do not need to be anxious (Matthew 6:25) with what happens as I know God is in control of all things. My life is not my own (Jeremiah 10:23) as it was bought at a price. In that I am certain.

Invisible - Unseen. Unnoticed.

In life, how can a person be deemed "invisible"? I think the answer to that is simple as I believe myself to fall short in living out loud and being confident of who I am in Christ. In asking myself that question, I have no good answer to justify my actions these past years. While I have been doing specific things (Czech Republic, Slovakia, student ministries) with the time God has provided me, I believe to be fully effective with the time God has given me is to live with the mindset that God is not just restricted to my free time but to all of my time. At times I realize this but I don't take it to heart, I don't live it out in my daily life. So am I here to coast through this time in my life and just live for God on the weekends?....No! Christ never did such a thing as He was always about His Father's work when He started His ministry. Change is needed in my life in regards to that area.

For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek.

- Romans 1:16

To succeed is at the very least to try even if failure is possible because even though failure could be a descriptor of the outcome, it can never be a descriptor of the experience or knowledge gained from such efforts.

I stand looking forward with hopeful expectations of things to come. I look on, eager to keep moving and gaining ground. Such beauty surrounds me from my lowly point of view. The path is not clearly marked. So many think that they know the way but who is to say that I'm heading in their direction. If I should end up at a different location than I intended, then so be it. I'll be alright with that as I will consider the journey worth it to have taken the risk to head towards the original destination. For learning is not about being content with what you comprehend but is the endeavor to understand what is not known. A successful journey is not void of risks, one of which is the choice to make that first step forward.

2008 has been quite monumental in my life in learning, growing, and understanding more about God. Things have been easy difficult during these past 12 months at different points. If I had known that things were going to be rough, would I have still endured them? Beyond all doubt I would have endured them and consequently learned from those experiences. Being comfortable is nice but what do I gain other than pleasure in my self. Rather, being willing to be stretched by God is worth all of the hardships that such experiences from this past summer, from school, and from life and friends. I look forward to much more learning, growing, and understanding this coming year as I have begun this past year to see and comprehend the value found in the humbling of one's own soul. And above all else, keep my focus on God.

The future is bright....